I search for the light to get away from the darkness that smothers me so.
I stand here with me arms wide open waiting for you to come back home.
Waiting for you to come back to me the one you call daddy.
You're nowhere to be found ...
You're lost somewhere out there, and I am here in plain sight yet I am just as lost. I search everywhere, I can hear your voice in my head, I close my eyes and there you are.
I reach out into the darkness but find only the void left behind. I cry for your safety with each breath as I speak to God and I remember the times you spoke to him too. I nap if I can but with the phones beside my head.
I have a little more of my soul drained each hour you are not here and my heart is shredded from worry and fear. I look now under the Christmas tree where it should be empty but presents you asked for are still there wrapped and waiting to bring a smile to your face. Yes it is New Years Eve for most, but this year will not end or move forward for me as long as you are not here to show me what the new year will bring.
So while those around me celebrate and bring in the new year, I will shed several more tears and only think of you and finding you as fast as I can. Heather show me how to find you, show me how to live again, please please God please I can no longer do this.
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