1. Pink countertops are just cruel.
2. Green linoleum was "groovy" in the 70's and so were we. No we're both just old and tired of being walked on.
3. Our appliances match like plaid and stripes.
4. Someone needs to clean our drawers.
5. We want to be on TV but we are too dumb for Jeopardy, too smart for Survivor and too plain chicken for Fear Factor; plus as a teacher, my students could see me on TV.
6. Quite frankly, Valley Station could use the PR.
7. We need a place to serve mint juleps to (insert local TV personality here) next Derby Day.
8. Getting laid off from Colgate means more time eating in.
9. We could have used a beautiful backyard makeover, but "Sunrise" never came.
10. We like to entertain IN our kitchen not WITH our kitchen.